These days, it seems like long distance relationships are more popular than ever. Between students going away to college, men and women both seeking fulfilling careers, and the general globalization of the world, the chances of you being in the same city as your partner for your entire relationship are slim.
I myself was in a long distance relationship for three years before finally moving to the same city as my now husband. We made it work and learned a lot about ourselves in the process. Here are my tips on how to survive a long distance relationship for real.
Take Advantage of Technology
When my partner and I were in a long distance relationship we couldn't use the phone because we were in different countries. Luckily, we were able to stay in contact constantly thanks to Skype, WhatsApp, and Facebook. My sister and her fiance, on the other hand, relied on nightly phone calls and texting throughout the day, and that worked for them. When it comes to staying connected, there are so many options out there, and you can find what works for you. However, whatever you choose, make sure that both of you feel like you are getting to talk often enough, and maybe establish a daily routine so that you can look forward to those special moments to connect everyday. It makes all the difference.
Go the distance
If you want your long distance relationship to thrive, it's important to make sacrifices to see each other as often as possible. When my husband was living in Canada, I drove 10 hours there and 10 hours back to see him every other weekend. It was expensive, hard to schedule, and inconvenient, but nothing can replace that face to face time. If you're really committed to making it work, make an effort to see each other as much as your schedule and budget permits.
Have an end goal
When it comes down to it, long distance can feel like a lot of waiting. Waiting until you can be back in the same place, waiting until you can feel like a normal couple, waiting to start your life together. It's really important to have a plan in place for when that time will come so that you have something to look forward to. Even if you can't be together now, there should be legitimate action steps in place for how you are going to get to be in the same city in the next few years. If you don't have this plan, you will feel like you are floundering, and that can lead to problems in the relationship. Ultimately, consider this: If you don't have a plan for how you will end the long distance, where is your relationship really going?
Don't neglect the little things
Most of all, it's important to keep each other feeling loved and cared for. Sending letters, flowers, or just leaving messages for your partner every morning is a great way to keep the love alive during a long distance relationship.
Communicate often and openly
A long distance relationship is a lot about trust. If you aren't sure of your partner's level of commitment, or you fear that he or she is being unfaithful or losing interest, the relationship will suffer- fast. Make sure you talk honestly about your expectations and what's going on with each of you. It can be hard, but it's necessary to stay on the same page if you want to avoid hurt feelings and misunderstandings.
Don't listen to the haters
There is always someone who has something bad to say about long distance relationships. DON'T LISTEN. Long distance relationships can work, and they often do, as long as both people are committed and willing to work.
Long distance relationships are definitely possible, and can be worth it if it means giving each of you a chance to follow your dreams. Keep these tips in mind and give your relationship all you've got- you will never regret giving it a try.