If and when people ask about my greatest fault, I don’t have to think. My response is always: “I care way too much...about things that often don’t deserve to be cared about; however, I also think being caring is one of my greatest strengths.” Why does this even matter? If you consistently put yourself on the back burner and give to those who never reciprocate, it will eventually catch up to you. Trust me on this one.
Here's 4 ways how to stop caring so much about things that do not matter:
Other people’s cares and opinions should not carry more weight than your own.
I am one that used to constantly seek approval from others. It’s not that you shouldn’t care, but be mindful when you find yourself falling down a rabbit hole of adjusting yourself to everyone else’s wants and needs. This will only lead to mayhem later on. You can't please everyone, and it truly is better to try and spend your life pleasing the best version of yourself.
If you find caring too much about things that you can’t control, think about the bigger picture.
There is a lot in this world we can’t control—and these things often take up more space in our minds than they should. Either let them go, or find a way to pray to a higher power in a way that comforts you. Either way, you need to accept that you only have a certain amount of control on how things work out, and you can learn over time to embrace this as liberating instead of terrifying.
Pay attention to who and what you’re caring about.
Recognize what is filling you up and what might be draining you. If you are caring about people that suck all your energy, you won't be able to continue for long. This doesn't mean that you should be selfish and only care about people who give you something back, but it does mean that you need to be aware of your needs and set practical and careful boundaries with stressors in your life, whether it be your job, a relative who needs help, or a friend.
Relax, mellow out..
Do whatever you need to do to chill out and relieve that unnecessary tension of caring about things that don't serve you. Lower the lights, play some tunes, light an incense to change your surroundings. Have a glass of wine or drink some kava.
Caring is good. However, when it leads you to unhealthy habits, you need to sit down and think about whether or not you're caring, or just obsessing.
Photo by Jonas Svidras